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September 19th, 2022 
Awake Goy 
After watching countless women characters in TV and the movies get their rocks off in a matter of seconds without fail, I assumed that was the norm. (Also, has anyone ever, in the history of the world, had a simultaneous climax at the exact same time as their partner? Inquiring minds want to know.) When I was younger, like most people, I thought the problem was me. I didn’t learn how hard it is for most women to have an orgasm until I was in my twenties, and already having plenty of disappointing sex. If this is the first time you’re hearing the news—let me break down the stats for you.
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In 2015, a Finnish study found that “only 6 percent of women said that they always had an orgasm during penile-vaginal intercourse,” which is incredibly low, considering that men are batting over 90, and “a total of 14 percent of women under the age of 35 had never had an orgasm from intercourse.” Despite the growing number of products and programs out there to help women achieve climax, a major pleasure gap remains, with frequently reported causes including anxiety, difficulty with maintaining physical arousal, and women having issues with their partner. Speaking on behalf of the “38 percent [of women] who… infrequently” have orgasms during sex, I ultimately learned that I needed to take matters into my own hands… figuratively and literally. Essentially, to maximize pleasure, we have to get to know ourselves and our bodies intimately before our partners can.
Dame’s tiny Zee bullet vibrator. Photo by the author
A lot of women, myself included, can only climax from clitoral stimulation, which is why a couple of thrusts ain’t getting us anywhere. We need some experienced hands, or a handy-dandy clit vibe that can slide in at the right moment and do much of the work for you (and your boo). When I decided that I wanted a vibe that I could integrate into partner play, I wanted a toy that was buzzy and effective, but highly portable. I absolutely love my Satisfyer, but it’s a bit clunky for stashing in your bag.
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That’s where Dame’s Zee bullet vibe comes in. Talk about discreet—this little blue miracle worker is less than three inches long, but still offers powerful stimulation. It’s rechargeable—which is surprising for a vibe this size, and it will hold a charge for up to an hour, which is plenty of time to squeeze in a couple orgasms. Not to mention, it’s water-resistant and has three speeds, so you can work your way up that big moment.
Dame
Zee Bullet Vibrator
When I gave the Zee a test run, I quickly found that despite its fits-in-a-coin-purse size, it is quite powerful, and the ability to easily toggle between three different speeds helped me maintain enough control to build up to a nice climax. Its small size is also ideal for targeted clitoral stimulation, and I find it to be the perfect “helper” when I’m getting “close,” but need that extra boost. While it’s not the first thing I’d reach for if I’m alone, it is excellent for partner play—especially as an introductory toy if you’re looking to add a little more spice into your regular routine (and offer a greater guarantee that you’ll be able to orgasm during a sex sesh, either during intercourse or foreplay/afterplay).
I found that once I started carrying around my tiny Dame vibe in its cute little linen case, I felt empowered with new partners, and even found myself more relaxed when flirting with new acquaintances. As a single gal out on the town, sometimes the thought of a spontaneous one-night-stand is so anxiety-inducing that we don’t even notice the hottie across the bar trying to score our digits. No longer was I shit out of luck if the stud from happy hour finished after two pumps and had no idea how to use his tongue. I started mentioning it before the problem even arose, communicating that the use of the toy would ultimately benefit both of us (in the sexiest terms possible, of course), and you wouldn’t believe the response. If you think a guy might feel inadequate or inferior if you bring a vibrator into the mix, I can tell you from experience that you should not worry about it. If your partner is worth their salt—and wants you to enjoy yourself, too—they’ll embrace anything that will help unleash the inner sex goddess within you, and if you express that you’re excited about using your toy, your confidence will be contagious.
Here’s to closing the pleasure gap—and not feeling guilty about it. Cheers to a happy climax for all.
The Zee Bullet Vibe is available at Dame.
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