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March 8th, 2016 
Awake Goy After years of post natal depression (birth trauma) with my first child, I suddenly had to pull myself together. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome. Doctors and teachers were pushing drugs and sending me on parenting programmes in case I was the problem. I found a friend in my son’s school and she began mentoring me through this rough patch. I attended the parenting classes, and signed up to go to university; I figured if I sat in a room with professionals and I was one too, they would respect my decisions (big LOL, never happened). I read my ass of about autistic spectrum disorders and fought with everything I had. I was always a little different, misplaced, and weird. I had always suffered massive self-hate; everyone I knew was stressed, snappy and irritated. I felt that I just had a terrible effect on people, not understanding it was the world that did, and people were just like that. I had never been smart, but I had always wanted to be, and now it was time I had to be.
I was full of new hope and a desire to save myself and the world. I read positive self help books, and asked above for proof of god and became very in love with the world. With my new found positivity I was quite fun, but very naive. I am very glad that I had found a base of spirituality from our gods that held me strong for what was to come.
The parenting class I was sent on to prove myself, I soon began teaching. I prepared my class. I had never ran an all men’s class, but I had some fathers, who were told if they sat the class it would look good on their files, as social workers were involved with their children. One of the father’s wives had been on my previous programme, so I had an understanding of her side of the relationship between them. I knew he had a history of domestic assaults against his name, and I knew the social workers involved with his family were biased to his wife and they pretty much had it in for him. As I was an impartial body to his family, they all knew I had no influence over anything and only sat the course to get the tick for attendance that the social workers wanted. Whilst his wife sat the course, she bragged of her many affairs, how her husband did everything, that she slept all day, how she deliberately provoked him to engage in violence (restraining her as she attacked him), then she would get him arrested knowing this would keep the children with her if they parted. She was wrong, as in the end they both lost them. He stayed in his relationship because he wanted to be with his children, and to be honest I believe he loved her. I knew they were both on the verge of losing their children. I was fond of him and wanted to help him, as I felt he had a pretty crap deal with it all and needed support, not a social worker who hated men.
He came in and sat down. Luckily he had become good friends with the other fathers in the group so could be himself, but to be honest he was very open anyway. He was honest, he said it like it was. He looked very angry. I asked how he was, and he said his children had been taken from him, and that if he continued to sit this course it would help him when he applies for supervised visitation.
I was in shock, that a man was having to sit in my room, covered in posters of children, whilst I told him how to be a good parent, when he had just lost his children. Heartless? Just a bit. I put my books down, and said, do you want to talk about it?
He told me his wife had come home drunk, confessed of having relations with another man and began throwing things at him, saying he was weak. She began slapping him and he lost it, he got his pellet gun and held it to her face, and refused to let her go until she calmed down. Calming down with a gun in your face is difficult I am sure, however, their relationship was bad, and this is why they were in the dubious hands of ‘support’. I do not defend either one’s bad behaviour, but I do sympathize with them. These are the side effects of the society that has been created for us. It is ill, and so are we.
He said she called the police, was hysterical, and was removed to hospital for mental health screening and he was arrested again for domestic violence. The children were immediately put into emergency foster care. He started talking, and neither myself nor my co worker stopped him. He started with his childhood; his mother was a prostitute and drug addict, he raided bins for food, as she would disappear for weeks. He was the eldest of his siblings, and he brought them up until it became clear they had no parental presence, and they were all put into care, after which he lost contact with them all. When this happened he blamed himself for losing them, and not being good enough to keep them together. He begged to see them, but was told it would hinder their settling at a new home. He was never adopted. He stayed in a care home where he said they were often hit with sticks to behave. He left when he was fifteen and found work with accommodation, lying about his age.
I felt that he was let down terribly by a system that should care for people, and they had not been cared for. I felt frustrated for him, and showed it when I should have kept impartial. I ranted a little how the system had totally left him for shit. I understood fully that families were not coping, not just his, lots of them in different ways. I was not alone in being lost and the severity was showing mildly in some and massively in others.
It was horrific; he had been let down by every service available. When he left I sat in the ‘parents composure corner’ where people go when they need to pull it back together. I sobbed and sobbed like someone had died. I got myself together and went home. I spent as much time as I could over the next week in bed. I was totally depressed, as I felt I had failed him, but I had no power over his situation, and I was angry with those who did, He had never been offered any support other than prescriptions for ADHD and depression. Then it hit me, I would say like a bolt of lightning, but it was more like a shovel in the face, and I felt instantly sick. ‘If I can identify the areas where everything went wrong and he wasn’t helped, and I am not that smart, others can see this and solve this, this is NOT incompetence. If everyone filled their potential, my job would not be needed, neither would most jobs that assist other people, and we all hold up those above us. People are not meant to fill their potential. Oh my god, this system is not broken, it is perfectly designed.’
I now started my trail for truth. My tutors at school hated my constant ‘cynical’ views in their classes, my pointing out immorality where they could not see it. Some tutors though, thought I rocked, and positively beamed at my rebellious but loving, half smart, half stupid being. I had just begun a journey of awareness yet was still so naive, and still am. Nevertheless I got my degrees, although in my last year my tutor hated me, and I was lucky to have the defence of those that did not.
I removed my son from school and never gave into their demands to medicate. I spent two hours everyday using techniques I had read about as well as the ones I formed to help my son with his difficulties.
Truth may feel like a shovel in the face at first, and this is why people resist it, as it hurts. When you see the lies you are encased in, and the suffering put upon our people for the gains of other,s it gets you mad and sad simultaneously and it can be a rough ride.
The week I woke up was a week I will never forget, but you never stop waking up. I still get hit unaware; I think I know most strategies to remove us from ourselves, like bad births and vaccinations that cause autism, then boom, another level is revealed and the only thing I know is that I am still learning, and that our ancestors are willing us on.
I hate terminology and labels, and am myself uneasy with the terms, waking up and truthing, but felt at a loss to describe my tale without them. I feel everything gets stereotyped into a particular way of being. I do not want to be a boxed in anywhere. I believe when you become a label, you can only be that label, you stop moving. If we stop moving, we will not succeed. Have your moral base, what you believe in and defend, but don’t label your precious being with a meme you were not meant to be. Do not allow yourself to unconsciously imitate an idea for yourself.
Last year I discovered white genocide from my partner. I did not like it and often avoided the conversation. When I finally allowed this newer wake up, I felt like a racist for ages, just for wanting my own homeland and wanting to not lose the beautiful white face, and silver and golden blonde locks in the world, like those of my children.
When I told my brother I was against immigration, he told me I was racist. He said he would like us all to be one, and be the same. I told him his apathy would kill us all and that he was in fact the racist, that his ideal want for us all to blend together would mean losing us all, that every culture would become a grey bland mush of a controlled global populous, with nothing that makes them special, that he wanted to lose every culture’s own individual beauty, and erasing us all to the past was more racist than me not wanting us to disappear.
He eventually replied that after all we have done to the third world, we deserve their onslaught. So he moved from the position that we were not being destroyed to the position that we deserved to be destroyed. I think this is oddly positive, as he moved thought, he began to accept that we were being invaded at least. I may not be the one that moves his next perception, but I hope something does. I told him he was suicidal, I meant nationally, but I do not feel he understood, because he wasn’t ready to hear that. I hope he will be one day, as I said waking up is hard to do, for others and for you. Jewish powers are brainwashing us on every level, education, movies, media and healthcare.
But it happens all of the time, people wake up from this brainwashing, and this will continue to happen until we grasp back what we are becoming aware we have lost.
WE ARE BECOMING AWARE, that is the truth, and those in control are soon to feel that shovel in their face. If I can wake up and get smarter, anyone can.
Source Article from http://renegadetribune.com/the-week-i-woke-up/
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