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April 17th, 2023 
Awake Goy 
Yesterday, the New York Police Department debuted its latest set of high-tech policing equipment. We New York denizens will soon come face to face with robot dogs, daleks, and something new: A pneumatic gun that can fire a sticky GPS tracker at a moving vehicle.
The launcher is called the Guardian-HX, made by a company called StarChase. It’s meant to create an alternative to the standard police pursuit, allowing cops to remotely track a fleeing vehicle without sending a squad of interceptors to tail it. But, in the hands of a department known for its surveillance abuses, the presence of any new tracking tech is worrying.
That’s because, in the Guardian, the trigger isn’t a trigger, and the magazine isn’t a magazine. The trigger itself is more of a button, an electronic system that activates the release of pressurized gas to propel the GPS projectile. The magazine is actually a battery.
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