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November 8th, 2023 
Awake Goy 
When it comes to the holidays, the best gifts in life—love, friendship, and a cure for IBS—can’t be bought. But the coolest ones can, as evidenced by a these Grateful Dead-themed luxury chocolates. That’s the kind of energy your partner deserves, and it’s why we’ve made you a smorgasbord of presents to shower your lady love with this holiday season.
We get it: You've ended up here because you're looking for the best stuff for your girlfriend, the best gifts for your wife, or maybe the best gift for your dominatrix—and we've got ideas for every budget, whether you're a Big Time Banker Guy™ (or Gal), a professional email-sending drone, or a freelance circus squirrel trainer. We can’t promise that they’ll keep you and her together forever (and in fact, you may never see her again when y’all head to Joshua Tree for that vacay and she finds the earthships)—but hey, it’s all gravy.
We speak for the trees when we say that wives and girlfriends (like, you know, most other people) just want nice stuff. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” trick to finding the best gifts for women; just give us the kind of presents you would give to anyone who deserves to unwind with a little more luxury, or, you know… start their morning by brewing their coffee in a stoneware Le Creuset French press.
Whether you have a budget of $50, or you’re ready to drop big coins on a Motörhead-themed fire pit, here are some of our favorite gifts for your wifey, babe, or boo.
The Best Gifts for Her for Under $50
Sweets for your sweet
Comparté’s luxury chocolates have been a big hit with VICE editors for their next-level Flavortown bragging rights and cool graphic designs. Look no further than its Matcha Green Tea-Dipped Oreos, Caramelized Waffle Cone Chocolate Bars, or Pistachio Sea Salt Chocolate Truffles to take your annual gift of holiday chocolates to new heights.
A washable silk sleep mask
We’ll say it: Dainty sleep masks are for the uncommitted. If we sound cranky, it’s only because we haven’t blanketed our tired peepers under this generous, cloud-like mask by Lunya.
When you’re done massaging her feet…
Listen, no one is saying that Theraguns aren’t the GOAT. But damn, they’re spensi. This massager from OLsky, however, is a VICE editor-loved alternative with a 4.5-star average rating on Amazon from over 14,500 reviews, including one fan who writes, “I have tried other $100+ ones from friends that had one and this one is just as powerful!” Plus, it comes with almost a dozen different attachments.
Mayo girls, rise up
It’s good on fries, grilled cheese sammies, salads, fingers—need we say more? Help your gal prove her mayonnaise fealty with this Etsy sweatshirt. Top it off with a bottle Kewpie, and you’re holiday shopping is complete.
She lost her earbuds (again)
No problem. These TAGRY wireless earbuds are another VICE editor-favorite, because the sound in bangin’ and the price is right. As VICE shopping director Hilary Pollack writes about the earbuds, “I truly love that they show you how much battery life you have left right on the case, and that they pair so easily with my phone, computer, and even gym equipment (and to reiterate, they’re THIRTY BUCKS!).” No wonder they have over 57,700 Amazon reviews.
A candle that smells like your best camping trip
Apotheke’s holiday edit has arrived, and it’s filled with all kinds of festive candles, a dreamy advent calendar, and this VICE editor-loved (it me) firewood-scented candle. The Brooklyn-based home fragrance brand has captured the smell of an expensive, well-tended fire pit at one of those glamping campgrounds where you sleep on a Casper mattress under-ish the stars. Seriously, though, the candle’s warm notes of cardamom, bergamot, birch tar, patchouli, sandalwood, and a dusting of nutmeg make it perfect for the woman who loves Björk, Sundays on the couch, and walking around misty forests like a banshee.
A hydrated partner is a happy partner
Before we even suggest anything over the top or out of the box, there’s something to be said about gifting something practical to your girlfriend or wife—something that’s not necessarily flashy, but should see plenty of use throughout the year. Case in point, this 24 ounce water bottle from Hyrdro Flask is ready, willing, and able to be her sidekick on trips to the gym, on the desk at her office, or holding court on her bedside table.
No-nonsense slippers
There are many high-key nonsensical slippies and slides, like these wearable lobsters, but your lady might seek the grip support of slippers that are so non-slip, she (probably) could scale the side of the Empire State building, NBD.
Keep those lips kissable
Laneige, the blockbuster Korean beauty brand, is known for a few specialities. One of it’s most beloved items includes its Lip Sleeping Mask. Designed to hydrate lips overnight, the brand claims that (according to sales data from a few years ago) it sells one of these every three seconds worldwide. We’re not beauty experts, per se, but it seems hard to argue with that level of popularity.
You haven’t made it to Japan yet
But your cat doesn’t have to know that. No judgement if we try to fit into this charming house ourselves. After all, cat furniture is looking insanely chic these days.
The Best Gifts for Her for Under $100
An aesthetic stash bag
A bestseller from this VICE article about the best gifts under a hundo, Tulip’s aesthetic stash kit includes an odor-blocking jar, a doobie-tube, and a sleek carrying pouch in various colorway options. The blue and green hues are great, but that Schiaparelli pink will really stand out when she rifles through her tote bag for the good greens.
Like sleeping bags for your feet
Why would you ever walk on anything else??? Our feet have been spoiled by the plush goodness of the The North Face’s Thermoball puffer slippers, which are water-resistant, fleece-lined, and come in endless patterns and colorways. They have a 4.7-star average rating on Amazon from over 1,600 reviews, inlcluding one fan who writes that “they are warm but not hot, wash beautifully, [and] the insole is thick and removable for washing.”
A countertop citrus juicer
Don’t be surprised if she leaves you for this countertop juicer. Can you blame her? Look at those curves and that squeezing power.
An authentic Turkish rug
Yes, you can afford a beautiful, vintage Turkish rug. You just have to know where to look for the best deals on these colorful, supreme floor jawns. Luckily, there’s nothing we would rather do that trawl Etsy with our shrimp net to bring you the best sales on the sickest home threads. Your lady will swoon over the way these rugs can brighten up any space, especially in the dark winter months.
A stoneware French press
As a woman of taste, she may already have the Le Creuset cast iron oven. The iconic cookware brand’s French press, however, is a new card in her Pokémon deck. It’s even crafted from stoneware for extra heat retention.
For the tomato girl
It was the summer of the tomato girl, but only your tomato girl will have this hypnotic, calming tomato table lamp to show for it. Just imagine how nice it will look on a bookshelf, or on the kitchen counter…
Luxury crotchless panties
It can be hard to shop for sexy lingerie that isn’t corny or outlandishly expensive, but Fleur du Mal always hits the perfect note with its luxurious thongs. There’s an entire VICE guide to shopping for crotchless panties, but this vibrant silk pair takes the cake and eats it, too.
This bestselling humidifier is 25% off
It’s humidifier season, mate. Fall and winter usher in arid and cold conditions, which is why many people (again, it me) invest in a quality humidifier to try and help with dry skin and sinuses. This Amazon bestseller is on sale right now, and very inoffensive (dare we say… sexy?) in design. Plus, if you live with your girlfriend, it basically ends up being a present for you as well. Another win-win.
Froth her milk
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, there’s something low-key horny about frothing your partner’s milk.
The Best Gifts for Her for Under $200
Something sparkly without spending your savings
Trying to find the perfect piece of jewelry to prove that you have graduated from the Chump School of the Zales heart pendant? Let ye ole’ ball and chain know you’re in it for the long haul with an engraved, 14k yellow gold locket from Catbird, or with some nouveau Byzantine bling from Mondo Mondo.
Pajamas to spoon in
We already know babe loves her jammies, especially if they’re from SKIMS. We’re not sure if that love stems from their comfortable design, or because Kim K co-founded the brand, but either way, we approve of this comfy-as-hell sleep set, which comes in three neutral colorways and is made with an über soft, ribbed modal fabric.
A cooler with built-in speakers
‘Cause that sunset hike sure would be better with some Whispering Angel and the musical stylings of Kenny G, who has some excellent romantic gift recs of his own, by the way.
For the oat milk enthusiast who has everything
Babe’s gotta have her oat milk. And her nut milk. And whatever else she can concoct with this plant-based milk-makin’ machine and its complimentary jugs.
A wild-ass blanket
One of our editors also swears by the Barefoot Dreams blanket, and says it’s both freakishly soft and comfortable. Is that a leopard print or just puffy clouds? Either way, there’s a good chance your girl will be snuggled up in this blanket all winter long.
Rihanna would approve
We can picture this BDSM chain skirt joining Riri’s impressive rotation of Carnival looks. In the meantime, your lady will enjoy layering it with leather pants to go to the Renaissance faire.
A couples’ vibrator
This Lovense app-controlled vibrator has been a cam girl staple toy for ages, and once the pandemic hit back in 2020, a lot of distanced couples started to see why. The interface is easy to use, and the vibes are oh-so strong with this one.
Bathe in gemstones
The Restorative Floral Bath from Nature of Things one of the most relaxing, luxuriating bath time experiences one of our editors has ever had (it was actually reminiscent of the carbonated pool at SoJo Spa Club). In addition to plumeria, jasmine, and vetiver this bath time mixture contains gemstone extracts, so you can go full Goop. Bring it home for baby in this limited edition bundle, which also includes the brand’s award-winning magnesium soak.
Aesthetic, noise-cancelling earbuds
Henceforth, baby gets her very own pair of swanky noise-cancelling Bose earbuds, which will actually personalize their noise cancellation and sound performance for your boo to give her an uninterrupted, smooth listening experience wherever she goes. Toss them in your Amazon cart while they’re 29% off.
Wow, you really love this lady
A new record player set-up
She loves that portable suitcase record player the 70s, but it’s kiiind of scratching up her LPs. Gift her this Adult™ record player by Audio-Technica, and get into the groove of why VICE editors love the brand so much. Hint: This baby is Bluetooth-enabled, which means it can connect to your partner’s iPhone, Alexa device, and whatever else floats her boat.
The closest she’ll get to walking on water
Ah, to pull up to the function in a pair of not just any Salomons (a flex in itself), but in the subtle swag of the MM6 Maison Margiela Salomons. This ivory-colored sneaker is the perfect blend of normcore dad and galactic superstar thanks to the logo-engraved, silver-tone hardware on the tongue.
One sip closer to Lake Como
You know what’s a trip? When your morning espresso transports you and your boo back to that Italian vacation you took a few years ago. De’Longhi espresso machines are not only easy on the eyes and a serious counter flex, but this particular Amazon bestseller has a 4-star average rating on the site from over 3,000 reviews. There’s arguably no better gift (for her, and for you) than the ability to foam, froth, and drip your way to oral ecstasy like the italiani.
An epic 360 camera for her smartphone
If her GoPro camera work sux, it doesn’t have to—this attachment can transform her Cloverfield-level camera skills into a stabilized, 360-degree, 4K-quality video that the Academy will love. (VR goggles not included.)
Mix it up
The millennial version of owning a house is owning a KitchenAid. These cult appliances are the Cadillac of kitchens.
A sweater for the holidays (and beyond)
It’s like the old Vine adage goes: Shower time, a glass of whiskey, and Diesel jeans sweaters. Seriously, though, Diesel’s grunge-meets-futurism aesthetic has been killing it lately.
Filth is her life
Again, this one is as much a present for her as it is for you. Plus, can you imagine serving a roasted beef rump at the dinner table this holiday season with the visual genius of John Waters as your backdrop? Divine, in a word.
Snaggletooth fire pit
Is she a Motörhead fan? Does she enjoy headbutting you in your sleep? Give her the gift of endless flames with this hand-crafted fire pit.
A getaway to Joshua Tree
Babes love the desert. So here’s an idea: Plan a vacation to Joshua Tree by booking this romantic bungalow, which boasts a hot tub and pool for soaking under the stars (before you go to Pound Town in the house’s king bed).
Romantic Bungalow With Pool, Hot Tub & Views; sleeps up to 3, $342 $250/night at Airbnb
Happy holidays, and please invite us to the Motörhead bonfire.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.
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