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January 21st, 2023 
Awake Goy 
Think of Aquarius Season as a chaser for hard-assed Capricorn Season. That isn’t to say that these air signs aren’t ambitious, too, but they operate on a more eclectic intellectual vibration; famous real-life Aquarians include Yoko Ono, Angela Davis, and Julia Fox; unofficial Aquarians include Jules from Euphoria, Janice from The Muppet Show, and that hot Swedish girl with a tooth gem who lost my lighter in 2014. Being in the orbit of this zodiac sign is so unnerving for Virgos never boring, so it’s no wonder that shopping for their birthday present is a hoot.
Born between January 20 and February 18, Aquarius is positioned as one of the most eccentric, engaged signs of the zodiac because it's ruled by Uranus, a planet of change and continual awakening. Aquarians can be very socially expressive air signs (but have a hard time opening up about their deeper feelings), and tend to act like a human encyclopedia, because everything intrigues them. They also dabble in a broad range of hobbies and interests that are often humanitarian, niche, and might make you blush. Their eclecticism is also why they have such a hard time settling down with one person—not that they’d ever say they’re loners. They just enjoy their own company.
The best gifts for an Aquarius should dazzle and challenge them on an aesthetic and intellectual level. They should be functional and symbolic; lighthearted, dark-hearted, playful, and even educational. Get the Aquarius in your life something as classic as a beautiful art book, and as specific as a custom-made neon sign. Whether you’re shopping for your lover, BFF, or landlord, here are the best gifts to sweep an Aquarius off their sweet peach.
Pay homage to their astrological symbol
Aquarius is an air sign with the symbol of a water-bearer—which makes zero sense, but still looks cool, just like your sweet, chaotic Aquarius. The two streams of water that also symbolize the sign are meant to represent the embodiment of both Uranus and Saturn, with the former encouraging a more rule-based mindset, and the latter being a little more freewheeling, which is definitely what they’ll be thinking when they over-water their home office plants with this slick indoor watering can. It has an extra long neck (handy for those plants on the high shelf) and a 4.7-star average rating on Amazon from over 500 reviews.
They already skate, so teach them to roller boogie
Aquarius was definitely the kid at the skatepark in a neon flannel, rolling joints like a pro and reading a graphic novel about Karl Marx. Now, it’s time for this pair of vintage-inspired roller skates to enchant them and everyone else at the disco roller derby (they already own rollerblades).
An utterly unique scratch and sniff
Candles are cool, but Aquarius will be intrigued by the concept of an adult scratch-and-sniff/air freshener by D.S. & DURGA, whose Holy Ficus Auto Fragrance brings all the sensory swag of “the revered fig tree of Siddhartha” to their truck. Big flex.
A personality lamp
Of course they listen to Belarusian post-punk and smoke both herbal cigarettes and Lucky Strikes—which, of course, means they deserve space-age bedside lamps to light up their life, such as this Yamada Shomei dupe or a (sentient??) red mushroom lamp with a USB port.
Happy birthday, David
Here’s to the Aquarius who really tickles our hearts and brains; the one who nominated Vladimir Putin to do the Ice Bucket Challenge, made our favorite Paris night club (and TV show), Daddy David Lynch. Cop your giftee an Eraserhead poster (and get it framed for an extra $20 or so) to pay some aesthetic homage the Aquarius icon.
This vibrating octopus sex toy
We crown the entire Cute Little Fuckers sexual wellness line as an Aquarius, based on the descriptions of the brand’s sex toys alone. “Princette Puppypus comes from a planet that is entirely covered in water,” the good people at Cute Little Fuckers write about this vibrating anal plug. “They make a great stand-alone vibrator with a ring of independently buzzing legs on one side and a larger curved vibrating head on the other. Both the legs and the head make this Royal We easily grasped by all hands, and can slide between fingers for an open-handed explorative grip.” Wowee.
A perfumed oil with real amethyst
Does your Aquarius have some astrological water placements? Do they love crystals, Arca, and listen to TrueAnon? If so, they’ll love the sensuousness of a body oil perfumed by warming amber, tuberose, creamy ylang ylang, orange, and herbaceous petitgrain, all anchored by real, purple amethyst crystals and an amethyst roller ball for application.
One of their niche interests is antiquity
A chunky percentage of your Aquarius’ personality comes from their niche childhood obsession with the lore of Greek gods and goddesses, which means that the art book that lives on their Very Adult™ coffee table should be this illustrated collection of seminal Greek myths. It’s smart, horny, and enchanting, just like them.
A custom neon sign
Aquarius loves novelty trinkets, because they’re so naturally playful. But that also means they’ve probably done/seen/read every unique gift idea open in your tabs—due to their curious nature—so give them a custom neon sign that spells out a line of their favorite poem, song, or mantra of the week.
They bring the circus to town
BONBONWHIMS makes jewelry for Aquarians, no question about it. The brand’s circus rings are eclectic, lighthearted, and make our inner clown go weak in the knees.
A shroomy button-down
Your Aquarius likes to say that they were “way ahead of the microdose wave” with their love of shrooms, and they’re probably right. This is what they’ll wear to the wedding, the first day of grad school, and the karaoke night where they surprise everyone by knowing all the lyrics to “99 Luftballons”—in German, of course.
Well, that was fun, but exhausting. See you during Pisces season—don’t forget to bring your tissues.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.
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