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January 10th, 2022 
Awake Goy 
U.S.—A landmark study conducted by Columbia University has found that The U.S. Supreme Court has now spread more COVID misinformation than your crazy aunt who shares conspiracy theories on Facebook.
“This is very startling,” said Dr. Holson Bogtruggles, who conducted the study. “Because your Facebook Aunt is insane. Facebook has an entire department dedicated to monitoring the sheer volume of misinformation she shares, and the Supreme Court topped her in one day.”
Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor dismissed the study, saying: “With more than 32 trillion people and 12 billion malfunctioning toaster ovens dying of COVID every three seconds, I think we have more important things to worry about here.”
Social media platforms have warned users against sharing any quotes from the oral arguments on Biden’s vaccine mandate this week, warning that such posts will be deleted, and possibly cause for suspension. “One cannot overstate how dangerous these deranged conspiracy theorists on the Supreme Court are,” said Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg. “I hope they’re not, like, in charge of interpreting the law of the land or anything.”
We’re live on the scene at the Capitol building as the FBI hosts their beloved annual January 6 reunion. Good times!
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