Revealed: The vegetable that will leave you passing the most wind over Christmas (and it’s not sprouts)

December 25th, 2011

FAKE NEWS for the Zionist agenda

By
Simon Tomlinson

Last updated at 2:21 PM on 24th December 2011

Whoever smelt it, dealt it: Sainsbury's have compiled a 'what not to eat' list of fart-inducing Christmas vegetables

Whoever smelt it, dealt it: Sainsbury’s have compiled a ‘what not to eat’ list of fart-inducing Christmas vegetables

As if there wasn’t enough hot air passing between relatives this Christmas, we also have to contend with the inevitable expulsion of gas induced by our binge at lunch.

But if you want to do your best to avoid any embarassing ‘who dunnit?’ moments, a supermarket has produced a handy table of the most fart-prompting vegetables.

The worst offender is the Jerusalem artichoke, beating, surprisingly, the much-condemned Brussels sprout, which came in third.

Second was the parsnip with cabbage in fourth and cauliflower in fifth.

A
spokesman for Sainsbury’s, which has revealed its ‘top of the pops’
league, said: ‘Winter is an amazing time for colourful, fibrous
vegetables that are fantastically healthy, but which have predictable
results in the human digestive system.

‘Really
it’s the very things that make them good for us – lots of fibre and
complex carbohydrates – that are the culprits and it’s a small price to
pay for the health benefits.

‘Scoff your winter veg with abandon and
blame the household pet, I say.’

Passing wind is caused by a reaction in the gut to the carbohydrate, fibre and sugars found in the vegetables to produce gas.

Ousts the sprouts: Jerusalem artichokes are the worst for causing farts, according the Sainsbury's league table of windy vegetables

Ousts the sprouts: Jerusalem artichokes are the worst for causing farts, according the Sainsbury’s league table of windy vegetables

Usual suspect: Brussels sprouts are normally blamed for inducing wind, but they've come third in the table

Usual suspect: Brussels sprouts are normally blamed for inducing wind, but they’ve come third in the table

The Vegetarian Society has offered this advice for dealing with the possible side effects of winter veggies.

A spokesman said: ‘Eat more vegetables all year round so that they don’t cause such a shock to your system at this time of year.

‘A possible cure for flatulence is to add dill or caraway seeds to vegetables such as cabbage when cooking, or if all else fails have a cup of peppermint tea after your meal.’

Here’s one way to make sprouts more popular with the kids…

A sweet shop owner has created an unlikely hit this Christmas while trying to get his daughter to eat her greens – chocolate-coated Brussels sprouts

Andy Simpson says his delicacies are flying off the shelves at his store, Emily’s Traditional Sweets in Elsecar, near Barnsley, South Yorkshire.

The 49-year-old came up with the idea on one of his regular visits to schools, where he teaches pupils about the origins of chocolate.

Acquired taste: But Andy Simpson's chocolate-covered sprouts are selling like hot cakes

Acquired taste: But Andy Simpson’s chocolate-covered sprouts are selling like hot cakes

He told the Sun: ‘On one visit, I let the youngsters have a go at making chocolates, we tried using sprouts and they seemed to go down quite well with the kids.

‘I decided to try them out on customers and they are proving popular. I know Brussels sprouts are a bit like Marmite, you either love them or loathe them.

‘I like them, they are a nice chocolatey shape but I must admit they are an acquired taste.’

Here’s what other readers have said. Why not add your thoughts,
or debate this issue live on our message boards.

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As an ardent fan of Jerusalem artichokes I can vouch for their wind producing capabilities! However, in my case, raw onions beat them into an insignificant second!

– Ray In Brittany, Plonevez du Faou France, 25/12/2011 11:14

Why have these greenhouse gas emissions not been taxed?

– TerenceH, Rochester, UK, 25/12/2011 10:28

It doesn’t seem to make any difference what I eat. everything seems to produce an undesired emission.

– My Dyson’s broke again, Bournemouth, UK, 25/12/2011 09:54

Aren’t DM readers common!!

– Barry Onion (mr B Onion), Cameron the cowards destroyed UK, 25/12/2011 09:34

Mmmmm, yeah, because that’s all I can think about this fine x-mass morning, some lovely Jerusalem artichokes with my dinner. Forget the roasties mashed with butter and peas, Jerusalem artichoke are what’s making my mouth water.

– Scar, City, 25/12/2011 09:29

Sometimes when you’re hurt no one cares, sometimes when you’re sad no one sees, sometimes when you cry they look away – but fart just once, and everyone notices!

– Things ‘aint what they used to be, Birmingham, 25/12/2011 09:05

I would have thought that Parliament Pie would have won hands down!

– Dr Why, Bristol England, 25/12/2011 09:02

I can only suggest a simple answer to the embarrassment caused by excess flatulence. Buy a dog and blame that. Happy Christmas everyone!

– Mean Mr Mustard, A Hole in the Road, 25/12/2011 08:38

Advice……to vastly reduce exhaust emmisions from sprouts, add half a finely sliced apple whilst boiling!

– Mal, Norfolk, 25/12/2011 08:30

My family can all personally testify to the Jerusalem artichoke and it’s after effects. In the words of Yosemite Sam… There’s thunder in them thar hills !!!!

– dr foster, gloucester, 25/12/2011 08:24

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