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April 13th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
Pope Announces Vaccine Selfies Can Now Be Turned In To Spring A Relative Out Of Purgatory
VATICAN—In an effort to encourage vaccination among faithful Catholics worldwide, Pope Francis has announced that for a limited time, vaccine selfies can be turned in to church authorities in exchange for springing one relative out of purgatory.
“Today I am issuing a Papal Bull granting indulgences for vaccine selfies,” said Francis. “If you take a snap of you getting both doses of the vaccine, you can free a loved one from purgatory! What a deal! Limited time! Act now!”
“When a phone notification from a vaccine selfie rings, a soul from purgatory springs,” he said with a wink.
According to sources, the indulgence is good for the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines only. AstraZeneca’s vaccine will not be included in the indulgence until they pay their fee to the Vatican.
The Pope also clarified that if you die from vaccine side effects, the indulgence can be used on yourself once you arrive in purgatory.
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