Mermaids don’t exist, according to US government

“We don’t have a mermaid service programme,” a spokeswoman told the BBC,
prompting sighs of relief from American tax payers.

At least two people wrote to the agency demanding answers after the Discovery
Channel broadcast a programme called, Mermaids: The Body Found.

The show was shot in a documentary style and was described as painting “wildly
convincing picture of the existence of mermaids”.

The NOS has yet to comment publicly on the existence of the Loch Ness monster.

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