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September 21st, 2022 
Awake Goy 
Photo: Getty Images / Composite by VICE Staff
Hey there! Great to see you—are those new jeans? Love that light wash. Excellent pocket placement, too. So… [leans against water cooler]… how often are you masturbating?
Should you wish to answer this casual inquiry to yourself, if not to me, you might be thinking pretty much every dang day, bestie. For others, it could be a couple of times a week or month, depending on whether you’re partnered or single, horny or hormonal, or too busy or bummed to give yourself some lovin’. And for some (IDK y’all, but I’m sure you’re out there), the womp-womp answer is nada, or almost nada.
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Well, buckle up, friends, because illustrious sex-toy slinger VUSH has launched its I Come First campaign, a 30-day masturbation challenge “aimed to unite VUSH’s community” and help everyone put themselves first when it comes to the Big O, and to life itself! Stop feeling too guilty, overworked, or lazy to disrobe and fondle your gennies. It’s time to light some candles, leave your undies by the bedside, and go to town with one goal and one goal only: make yourself feel goooooood.
Where have you heard of VUSH before? Good question! You may remember the name because the brand’s Majesty 2 vibrator was featured in a Cardi B music video, or because the Empress 2 suction vibe is one of our staff faves when it comes to cunnilingual nightstand accoutrements. The brand also makes stellar G-spot vibrators (including one that looks like a honey dipper) as well as other intimate accessories, like these wipes for any time your hooha could use a ~*~refresh~*~.
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So, back to the I Come First challenge. VUSH conducted a survey of participants about their habits before and after committing themselves to a more consistent masturbation schedule. Before the challenge, participants cited stress relief and self-care as their biggest motivators for hopping aboard the daily O train. After just one week of jerkin’, fondlin’, and flickin’ themselves to contentment, participants reported a massive increase in their personal motivation, from 46% to a whopping 88%. Additionally, 25% said that they felt like they knew their body better after a solid week of banging themselves. One well-known participant was Married at First Sight Australia’s Ella Ding, who noted at the midpoint of her journey, “This [‘I Come First’ challenge] is an investment, not only in yourself but your sex life. You will have more enjoyable sexual relations and understand more about yourself and what feels good.” Hell yeah, Ella.
Also: Don’t rush through this. You don’t just want to blast yourself to the finish line without taking some time to unwind and try new things. Softly pinch your nipples! Graze your inner thighs! Put an ice cube in your butt crack! Imagine a threesome with Gandalf and Saruman!!! Why not? Life’s short, and we’re here to experience it. Plus, there are many health benefits to masturbating, believe it or not. All those feel-good chemicals squirting around in your brain can improve productivity, mood, and sleep, as well as help with circulation, the strength of your pelvic floor, and even digestion.
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Obviously, if you’re a person with a clit/vulva/vagina, VUSH recommends you use one of its high-end vibrators to get the job done. The Empress 2 is a great choice because many users find that gentle but powerful suction technology really gets the job done when it comes to achieving a monster-jam climax in minutes—hell, it feels like getting head from Jesus Christ himself Harry Styles a very dedicated partner who knows what they’re doing. Sign up for the I Come First challenge, and you’ll get a whopping 50% off the Empress 2.
VUSH
Empress 2 Suction Vibrator
$160$80 at VUSH
$160$80 at VUSH
And if you need any tips on how to use a suction vibe, you can find those on the VUSH website, too. We don’t know about y’all but… we’re more than happy to put some time on our cal for orgasms that are like going into a wormhole. Let’s get those pelvic floor muscles toned, my brethren.
Sign up for the I Come First challenge over at VUSH.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.
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