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April 29th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
Local Family Buys Second Freezer To Hold All The Mushy Bananas They’re Saving For Banana Bread
EVANSVILLE, IN—According to sources, a local family has been forced to buy a second freezer to hold all the nasty brown bananas they’ve been saving to make banana bread.
“I bought a bunch of bananas today, and they turned from green to brown on the drive home like they always do,” said housewife Callie Sanders. “But when I went to put the overripe bananas in the freezer, I realized our freezer was already full of overripe bananas.”
An investigation found they already had frozen bananas going back ten years that had never been used.
To avoid throwing these perfectly good ingredients away, the family elected to do the reasonable thing and purchase a second freezer. This will allow them to make delicious banana bread later–which they’re totally going to do.
Later that week, they also decided to purchase a second trash can for all the leafy greens they always buy but never touch.
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