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September 14th, 2022 
Awake Goy 
It’s a tale that’s all too common for marriages these days: things seem to be going great, with love and romance in the air, when suddenly, the husband begins to withdraw. He’s more on edge, less interested in intimacy, and only perks up when someone brings up the differences between early P-51 Mustangs and the more common P-51D variant.
Is your husband secretly looking at World War 2 planes on the internet? You should learn the warning signs:
- He slams the laptop lid closed when you walk in and shouts, “I wasn’t admiring the sleek twin-boom design of the P-38 Lightning, I swear!” – Not conclusive, but it’s a hint. Keep looking for the other signs.
- His Facebook ads are filled with suggestions for impossibly gorgeous model B-17 bombers – The algorithm doesn’t lie. His search history is obviously filled with searches for the Memphis Belle and the Piccadilly Lilly II. How are you supposed to live up to those beauty standards?
- He only looks at you with lovey-dovey eyes when you dress up like a Spitfire Mk IX – The costume you can handle, but when he asks you to imitate the sound of the powerful 1,660-horsepower Merlin 61 engine, it’s just too much to handle. It’s time for him to get help.
- When you drive by the local air museum, his eyes linger a little too long on the beautifully restored P-40 Warhawk complete with that stunning shark mouth nose art – Remember when he used to look at you like that? Eyes up here, honey!
- You guys are fighting more often, with him criticizing you using hurtful statements like, “Why can’t you work harder and be more reliable, like a Messerschmitt Bf 109?” – Ouch. It’s time for you to leave him until he gets the help he needs.
If your husband exhibits any of these signs, it’s time for him to get help, and the two of you should consider marriage counseling, before it gets worse and he starts looking at pictures of old wooden ships, classic muscle cars, or – God forbid – 19th-century locomotives.
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