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January 10th, 2012 
FAKE NEWS for the Zionist agenda
By
Craig Brown
Last updated at 1:33 AM on 10th January 2012
‘I’m The Dickens Of A Celebrity’: Famous people would play their favourite character
January: Charles Dickens’s bi-centenary kicks off with a week of I’m The Dickens Of A Celebrity (Channel 4) in which famous Britons share a dormitory in a spooky mansion playing the roles of their favourite Dickens characters.
Celebrity contestants so far confirmed include Ann Widdecombe as Mr Pickwick, Edwina Currie as Nancy, Nancy Dell’Olio as Miss Havisham, former Archbishop of Canterbury George Carey as Uriah Heep and former Labour Deputy Leader John Prescott as Bill Sykes’s loyal dog Bulls-eye.
February: This month, it is 50 years since The Beatles made their debut at the Cavern Club, Liverpool. ‘Without The Beatles, we might never have heard of Yoko Ono, Heather Mills McCartney, the Maharishi, or Allen Klein,’ enthuses Labour leader Ed Miliband in a Twitter tribute, which fellow MPs later describe as ‘misguided’.
March: The charts are topped by this year’s surprise new sensation: a woman in her 20s who wiggles her bottom and wears very little.
Meanwhile, veteran Bob Dylan makes rock history when he looks out towards the audience rather than the back of the stage and sings an old favourite in such a way that most of his fans can tell which one it is.
Rock history: Musician Bob Dylan plays at Finsbury Park, London, last year. Will this be the year he looks out to the crowd more than the back of the stage?
April: Among more than 200 books published to coincide with the 100th anniversary of the sinking of The Titanic, The Iceberg by Simon Schama charts the fascinating story of the disgraced iceberg after the fatal collision.
Realising the enormity of what it had done, the shamed iceberg apparently attempted to beat a hasty retreat and floated as fast as possible to Newfoundland, where it covered itself in mud and lived out its days disguised as an extinct volcano.
May: Tate Modern’s major new retrospective of work by Damien Hirst, All The Money I Ever Made, Now And Forever, And It’s Mine Not Yours consists of £215 million worth of gold ingots in neat stacks, surrounded by armed guards.
‘To me, it says a lot about mortality, a lot about capitalism in the 21st century and a very great deal about the nature of contemporary art,’ enthuses Tate director Sir Nicholas Serota.
June: The third series of the cult Danish TV series The Killing breaks new ground when, in its 352nd minute, one character is seen to make a joke, causing another character to smile. ‘The smile is so rapid that it is only just visible to the naked eye,’ explains director Soren Jorgenson, ‘but we were determined to demonstrate to the world that, contrary to rumour, Denmark is not just gloom and doom.’
July: Another Titanic tie-in is published this month: Dan Brown’s prodigiously researched Titanic: The True Story, said to blow the lid off the accepted myths, and to reveal that the Titanic in fact narrowly avoided the iceberg.
Dan Brown publishes Titanic: The True Story which reveal that the Titanic in fact narrowly avoided the iceberg
The crew and passengers then secretly sailed on to South America, and set up home on a remote island, where, for the next 25 years, they masterminded the rise of Adolf Hitler. Brown’s publishers describe the work as ‘utterly convincing’.
August: A sensational new biography of Keith Richards claims that the Rolling Stones guitarist rarely took drugs, and remained largely celibate throughout his sober life.
Solicitors acting for Richards are seeking an injunction against the book, stating that sentences such as: ‘On special occasions, Keith might enjoy the occasional sherry before a meal,’ constitute a terrible slur on his hard-won reputation.
September: Former enfant terrible Martin Amis publishes a new novel, Lionel Asbo, described by its publishers as: ‘A return to form — the title alone offers you a sense of the brilliance of its satiric vision.’ Other returns to form this year include new works by Gary Glitter, Michael Barrymore, P.J. Proby and Jeffrey Archer.
October: A series of spin-off films follows the box office success of The Iron Lady with Meryl Streep. In The Quiet Man, Ray Winstone stars as former Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith, while Tom Hanks plays David Cameron in The Battle For The Big Society.
Meanwhile, Sir Edward Heath is brilliantly captured on the big screen by George Clooney in He Sulked By Moonlight.
November: Tickets to this year’s must-see West End play are changing hands for over £500 a ticket, and not-to-be-disappointed theatre-goers are said to be queuing at the Box Office from 2.30 in the morning for the chance of returns.
Only the location of the theatre is known: the title and nature of the play, as well as its cast, remain closely guarded secrets. ‘We are determined to preserve its essential mystery,’ explains theatre producer Lord Sugar.
December: Julian Fellowes’ major new TV series Titanic suggests that the iceberg, being working class, must take the lion’s share of blame for the accident.
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