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June 23rd, 2016 
Awake Goy I find my relationships with family members and friends a little difficult, seeing as I am a national socialist and they are not. I normally get them to agree with everything I say because I talk sense. But when I praise Hitler and say, ‘those fucking jews’, their heads stop nodding. If I am smart and ensure I only say ‘those fuckers from Israel’, then the head nodding continues, but I often slip up and say the jew word.
My mum, who I love very much, is about seven chapters (not pages) away from my thought patterns and always has been. Although I am sure she loves me very much, she is quite a non-nurturing, non-hands on, non-parent, kind of parent and always has been. I meet her maybe once a fortnight and she talks a lot about normal people stuff, and whenever she gets annoyed at anything in the news slightly controversial, I cannot help but start talking back.
Today she was talking about Philip Green and how disgusting it is that all of his employees, who have worked for BHS (A huge store in the UK), will not be getting their pensions, even those who have worked there for over 30 years. Philip Green sold his company for £1, kept his assets and has fucked up a lot of peoples lives. So I said, ‘I bet that person is a jew’ and mum as usual went quiet. When I first came out of the closet to my mother and told her I think Hitler was badass and that the jews are manipulating evil pieces of shit, she told me I needed to watch Paper Clips, and then I would understand things better. So I did. I did understand things better; I understood exactly how they use repetition and stupid emotional tactics with no evidence to make you believe bullshit.
My mum is getting used to me bad-mouthing the jew and telling her good things about Hitler, but I still see her squirm in her seat being tolerant. I realise I should be thankful for this, as at least she stays there. Today, however, I simply said:
I bet that person is a jew, I am going to go home and look it up, I bet every fucker you hate is a jew or surrounded by them, funded by them, or encouraged by them.
I came home and googled the pension-swindling piece of shit, and yes he is a fucking jew. My only worry is, by using this new ‘I bet that person is a jew’ tactic, that my mum will listen, learn and then reply ‘there is a massive sale on at BHS now though, should we go and have a look next week?’ to which I will smack my head against my fist and die a little more inside.
Maybe this idea will not work on my mum, but I bet it will work on some. I am at this moment in time learning constantly as much as I can, filing everything away in this mind of mine, and at the right time, on every mention that someone complains, I am going to bring in the jew and shame that fucker.
I am going to read about every shitty fucking subject I can, and I will get angry and I will get sad, but I am going to share what I know, and I am not going to stop. I have chosen my path now and every day I will hear about some piece of shit and say ‘I bet that person is a jew’ then I am going to learn, and learn, and learn.
When we know enough, we have a conviction that cannot be easily ignored. When a person has ultimate faith in their words, they are hard to tear down.
A man at work keeps bringing up the ‘nazis’ for every fucking thing, so I want to argue with him, but I do not know enough and this is why I shy away. I mention what I do know, but I do not know enough to fight in my corner, so I have to shame myself into silence. He is a proper well-read mainstream intellectual, and he talks about things about which I do not know. For me to be here talking, I need to know more and be better than I am. Sorry if this is very ranty, but I feel frustrated today. I feel frustrated that people are either faced with everything and ignore it or are so brainwashed with the lies that they carry them everywhere and spread that shit like farm fertiliser, making everybody else bloom with more lies.
I did not do well at school, my upbringing was abusive and violent, and I have dyslexia. Something in me hated this world enough to need to learn about why it fucking sucks so bad and I need to help others see it too. We have broken people everywhere that need help, but they are crazy and sometimes dangerous to our health. I have tried many times to help people, but some are just past helping. Others don’t know where to get the help, and to be honest, I probably need help too.
Sometimes this world is so overwhelming that it can be difficult not to just scream. I am so lucky to have a family to talk to about all of this. I am very happy with the fact that my partner are on the same page and that my son is massively knowledgeable and awake for his age. I am blessed, truly blessed.
I feel I am definitely were I am meant to be. I am becoming who I am meant to be, but I feel frustrated with the fact I am not good enough to be it. When I was 14 in art class we were given asked to come up with our own idea for a piece of art. I was a bit of an EMO before they were even termed, so I drew a wall, and on that wall I drew a massive swastika. I also drew a gun with blood dripping from it and some other weirdness I do not remember. When asked to explain my work, as it must be a portrayal of World War II, I replied that a swastika was a peace symbol and that I had painted it over the top of hate and pain. Needless to say amongst everyone’s flowers and lakes, I looked a bit odd.
When my son was about eight maybe, he got massively interested in mythology, our heritage, and swastikas. He began etching them into everything.
I am here for a reason and so are my family. I believe it is because that person who is hurting us all, well that person is a jew, and somehow inside of us, we always knew.
Source Article from http://www.renegadetribune.com/bet-person-jew/
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