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May 21st, 2021 
Awake Goy 
Hasbro Releases New Version Of ‘Operation’ Where Players Just Keep Putting More Masks On The Patient
PAWTUCKET, RI—Hasbro has released a new version of the classic board game Operation where players just keep putting more and more masks on the patient to make him safer and safer.
Instead of actual healthcare or removing the broken body parts out of the patient, players will instead just keep layering masks on him. Players earn points based on how high they can stack the mask tower without its toppling and how well they’re able to cover the patient’s nose and mouth.
A new commercial described the excitement of the updated version of the game: “Can you double-mask Cavity Sam? What about a triple-mask? Or go for the rare quintuple-mask! But oh no! Watch out for the electronic buzzer — if you accidentally make any contact with him at all, he will die of COVID-19!”
The winning player gets to go on to a bonus round where they carefully inject Cavity Sam with all the available COVID vaccines to see if he grows any extra limbs.
At publishing time, Hasbro had further confirmed that the board will be equipped with a microphone, causing Cavity Sam’s nose alarm to go off if anyone questions the efficacy of masks.
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