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October 30th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
CAMBRIDGE, MA—Harvard Law School students will soon have the opportunity to broaden their horizons with advanced degrees in the field of Unconstitutional Law. A wide array of courses has been planned for the optional upper-level program, which is scheduled to begin in the fall term of 2022.
Demand for these degrees has grown steadily over the years. Unconstitutional Law will soon be taught in colleges across the country, with Harvard leading the way into this exciting new field of study. Some experts were quick to point out that Harvard has technically taught Unconstitutional Law for decades, but this latest move makes it official.
During a press conference Friday, Dean John F. Manning excitedly announced new courses such as “Eliminating Whistleblowers,” “Mandatory Seizure of Property Because Equality” and “A History of True Socialism Not Being Tried.” New extra-curricular activities have also been announced which teach the students how to quickly walk away from important questions.
“Harvard Law School is proud to be on the ground floor of the great rese— end of bigotry,” said the dean. “We look forward to what our student body will be capable of unleashing upon the world.”
“Soon, our students will be running corporations and governments around the world with what they’ve learned here at Harvard,” he added ominously.
At publishing time, Harvard had canceled the Unconstitutional Law program and replaced it with a seventeenth Gender Studies program.
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