Four major misconceptions about Spartacus

May 17th, 2013

Peter Nolan

This epic series has come under constant scrutiny since it first aired back in 2010. What some saw as tightly woven story with flawed characters and intriguing story lines, other saw nothing more than boobs and a whole lot of merkins complete with cursing so bad it would make a sailor blush. We fully recognize that gladiator type movies/shows are not in some people’s personal taste. And that’s okay. Personally, we can’t stand the tens of thousands of cop shows who follow the exact. same. formula. Every season. Or most of Doctor Who‘s companions (we’re looking at Clara!); or the Saw series. Yes, we realize the irony of that last one.

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We have close friends that, though they appreciate the hot guys, they just didn’t connect with the show. Again, that’s cool. People have different preferences. But these people are few and far between. Most simply snub the show because they put it into one category based on one moment they may have seen or think it’s completely over the top. Well, we say it is time to put these preconceived notions to rest. So if you’ve been on the fence about watching the show but don’t think you can get past certain complaints jilted viewers have expressed.

#1. The show has no substance.

This is just a ridiculous claim. In fact, without the quality writing and character exploration, Spartacus probably would have just fallen under the radar with an “It could have been great” sticker on it. Steven DeKnight and his team did start off rocky with the terrible pilot episode. We’re not gonna lie about that. Most fans who start the show sit there with a bored face and say, “Please tell me it gets better.” And you know what? It does. By time episode five – ‘Shadow Games’ – rolls around, that person grumbling about the pilot has become a full fledged Sparty fan (we prefer the term “Spartacusified”). Then when the season finale of Blood and Sand arrives, their hands are gripping their seat and watching in complete fascination at how everything came together in one glorious, bloody episode. To this day, ‘Kill Them All’ (Blood and Sand finale) remains a fan favorite by its sheer magnitude of sweet revenge. It’s the most satisfying episode of all time. Then came War of the Damned, the final season. While the previous seasons took about five episodes to really amp up the action, DeKnight and his team started off with a bang and never let up.

They easily could have had six seasons of this show but instead they went out on a high note. It was a perfectly formed and executed plan that paid off in spades. Villains vs villains, heroes vs heroes, anti-heroes vs villains, heroes vs villains; that’s a lot to balance but it works beautifully. Yes, the show is brutal and graphic. But at it’s heart, Spartacus is about one man refusing to be treated like a piece of meat – delicious, flawless piece of meat. His speech at the end of Blood and Sand sums it up perfectly: “We have lived and lost at the whims of our masters for too long. I would not have it so. I would not see the passing of a brother for the purpose of sport. I would not see another heart ripped from chest or breath halted for no cause.” If that isn’t a reason to stand up for something, we don’t know what is.

#2. It’s soft core porn.

There’s no point in denying it. Spartacus definitely had its fair share of nudity. That’s just a fact. But when people go down the porn route, that’s when we draw the line. Yes, the cast gets naked on occasion yet most of what is shown is simply one step above what is already shown on networks. Music videos have girls in scantily clad bikinis that are basically scraps of clothes – including artists like Beyonce; Rascal Flatts went full on butt mode in one theirs, and even Walking Dead had Andrea walking around in the nude with her figure blacked out. And let’s not forget Maggie and Glenn getting it on in the garage. In fact, one of the most highly acclaimed shows of all time, Mad Men, frequently has women stripping down to their underwear. But gods forbid that a background character wears something that is most likely historical in a historical semi-fictional show. How many times have you seen The Notebook or Titanic where both female leads get naked? You think slaves wore nun outfits back then? Nuh uh. They wore things according to their status, including but not limited to cloths that looked like an ancient version of Depends. We’re not saying that being put off by it is wrong. Just because you don’t like nudity doesn’t mean you’re a prude. Otherwise every beach would be crowded with naked fat people chowing down on their Pringles, complaining about their health. But claiming that because a show is portraying historical facts as accurately as possible equals soft core porn….That’s a little extreme. As for the sex scenes, yes they are present and most have far too many slow motion moments. But there are not nearly as common as people assume. As far as we can recall, War of the Damned had maybe six actual sex scenes in ten episodes. That sounds like a lot until you realize that 9 out of 10 lasted approximately 10 -15 seconds. Unless you’re counting Tiberius butt plugging Caesar and Tiberius raping Kore (neither of which are graphic). Blood and Sand had more due to the extra three episodes that season and the ludus having really sexy men with really sexy women. What do you expect to happen? It was like a sorority and fraternity in the same house. Abstinence was no one’s friend. But contrary to popular belief, Spartacus did not have a sex scene in every single episode. Vengeance had its share too but surprisingly less than its previous season.

#3. It’s too violent.

This we get a kick out of. The same person claiming this is the same person watching zombies getting killed, Theon Greyjoy get his body flayed on Game of Thrones, and/ or has the complete Saw collection. Their favorite movie is probably Braveheart. Honestly, what did you expect from a show about gladiators? Did you think they fought with wooden swords and trash talk? It’s completely okay for war movies to have graphic violence but somehow this show gets completely berated for the amount of violence shown. “Well, war movies are expected to be violent. It’s war.” And gladiators are supposed to be cute and cuddly? Perhaps if you cracked open a history book once in a while instead of looking everything up on Wikipedia you would know that Spartacus’ little rebellion almost changed the world by knocking Rome down a few notches. That didn’t happen because he was a pacifist. It’s not as disturbing than say, a high school girl falling for a sparkly dead guy who likes to watch her sleep. Or Kristen Stewart in general.

#4. It’s not that historical.

Unless you lived in ancient Rome, we really don’t think you have any room to talk about what is accurately being portrayed and what it isn’t. DeKnight has said that his team did extensive research on the real Spartacus and the times he lived in; but considering the fact that there is hardly anything known about him (Spartacus most likely wasn’t even his real name), we think DeKnight and his team have done a great job trying to make it as realistic as possible. They even put a little warning sign at the beginning of episodes so that you know what you’re getting in to. Most of the reports about the Third Seville War, aka Sparty’s rebellion, comes from Roman soldiers and historians of the day. Think of it as Jurassic Park: the original gene sequence (historical facts) has massive gaps that need to be filled before the story can continue on and connect to the next gene sequence. Unfortunately, there were no raptors or children being attacked by a T-Rex; though there was a suspiciously large Egyptian present for most of season 2 and the jury is still out on Lugo. But we digress.

The point we’re trying to make is that to fill a story that lacks detail is tough to do. That’s where a little thing called “creativity” comes into play – and DeKnight is a master at it. The dialogue is certainly Shakespearean but that’s what makes it so intriguing to watch. Those who complain about how the cast speak with British accents, which is weird considering most of them are Aussies and Kiwis, are especially melodramatic. Why don’t you go learn some Latin or whatever they spoke back then and show us how it’s done? That’s what we thought. Everything from the dialogue to the setting to the wardrobe may not be 100% accurate but it works for the show and gives an air of realism while staying a tad bit glamorous. It is television after all.

Now, we know there are way more objections to the show than these four but as far as we can see, these are the main excuses. Hopefully, people can see past these poor nay-sayers and enjoy a truly great show filled with foreshadowing, tightly woven story lines, solid characters and action packed sequences that Michael Bay would be jealous of.

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