Escort Has Message For Wall Street Men: You Are Bad In Bed

Female Escort

Of all the types of men a woman might service in the escort business, a recent BuzzFeed post, would indicate those working on Wall Street could soon earn the reputation of being the worst kind of client.

According to a first person account from a female escort in New York City — every word of which needs to be read to be believed — not only do Wall Street men whine about their lives, but they need constant reassurance that they are well-endowed and amazing in bed.

WARNING: Some Explicit Language Used Below

“They want to talk a lot more than you think,” says the author of the post, whose self-described physical attributes include having the kind of “tiny but curvy body that drives men wild” along with auburn hair and almond-shaped eyes.

“They want to vent about their kids’ private schools, their bosses, their bonus talks, their friend beating them at squash,” she continues. “They have big egos and are big babies. If I made any sign that they weren’t the best lover, or that their dick wasn’t the biggest dick I’d ever seen, they started asking all these questions and putting me down.”

Next, the escort gets to what it is she’d really like to inform those former clients:

“No, actually, you’re really small and you’re bad in bed.”

The article is the latest in a series of recent stories that have surfaced about relationships with Wall Street men, none of which have done much to improve the public’s perception of banker-types as it pertains to the ladies: In February, a step-by-step guide of the management skills it takes to date a finance guy was published, courtesy of relationship expert Samantha Daniels.

Among the tips was for women to be sure to charm Wall Street men out of talking about work in the first few minutes of a date — the implication being that they have such a hard time not talking about the office that they could very well zip past the initial niceties people tend to exchange when first meeting someone.

Additional suggestions included not playing hard to get — because Wall Street men feel they’re very busy and important and will just find another woman if you’re not available enough — and to tell stories quickly because their minds move so fast that they probably won’t have the attention span for anything with any sort of depth.

Then of course, there was last month’s financial services guy who e-mailed his Excel dating spreadsheet to a woman he was seeing and unwittingly ended up sharing it with a good percentage of the people on the Internet after she forwarded it along to friends. That he used a spreadsheet alone might have been enough to earn him plenty of attention, but the document also included the names of the many women he was juggling along with their looks as rated on a scale of one through ten.

The Buzzfeed escort, for her part, admitted that the attention of Wall Street men was alluring at first, but that their appeal soon wore off. She says she tried out “sugar daddy” websites after she quit being an escort, thinking she might find someone looking for “something long term,” but found them to be no better — perhaps because some were still Wall Street types.

“One guy who was in private equity gave me $5,000 a month for four months, but then he disappeared. These men, it’s like they die one day,” she wrote. “They’re all liars. Some nicer or cuter than others, but all liars.”



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