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September 22nd, 2022 
Awake Goy 
ATLANTA, GA — Chick-fil-A marketing executives announced Monday that they were “shocked and embarrassed” to discover that the cows they hired to run their marketing department have been making “egregious and inexcusable spelling errors” for years.
One exec was reportedly driving by one of the company’s billboards and realized with horror that basic words like “chicken” and “your” were spelled completely wrong. An emergency meeting was called within the company to verify the typos, and sure enough, the error had been duplicated across millions of pieces of marketing over the past 10 or 15 years.
“Oh man, billions of people probably saw this before we caught it,” said Chick-fil-A Marketing Director Bud Peters. “I don’t know how we didn’t see these super-obvious typos before. I mean, ‘chikin’? ‘Mor’? ‘Yer’? These cows don’t know how to spell at all!”
According to sources within Chick-fil-A, the cows had promised the restaurant chain that they would design and produce tasteful slogans and catchy marketing campaigns for billboards, TV advertising, and other creative ad placements all over the country. The cows dressed up in suits and glasses to make themselves appear professional, sources claim, easing fears that they wouldn’t be able to spell or write in legible English, something farm animals typically do not excel at.
“We should have known it would be a problem when we saw that they were, you know, cows,” said Peters. “So this one is kind of on us. Man, oh man. Back to the drawing board.”
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