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July 14th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
Cuban Communism Maybe Not So Bad Since Its Critics Seemingly Disappeared In The Middle Of The Night
CUBA—Thousands have recently taken to the streets to decry the injustice and suppression of liberty under the Cuban communist regime. That is, of course, not the case anymore as all of communism’s critics have seemingly vanished overnight.
“Well, it must not have been so bad after all,” shrugged President Miguel Díaz-Canel. “They must have all changed their minds, realized how wonderful Cuba is, and gone to tell their families to return to Cuba.”
“How could this have happened though? They had so many passionate protestors condemning the conditions under communism and demanding real change!” asked local journalist Alonzo Amada. “I mean, um, the only logical conclusion is that they all must have realized they were mistaken and that the food prices, housing costs, and healthcare lines are actually perfect.”
“Probably won’t be hearing from them again.” added the President of Cuba. “Once people are shown how great everything is and that there is not a single thing bad, they become so content they never speak out again!”
At publishing time, Alonzo Amada was heading to interview an outspoken critic of Cuba’s current state, but then he remembered suddenly that he had to head home. Alonzo said that he needed to water his goldfish and this has nothing to do with the suspicious van following him.
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