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January 11th, 2023 
Awake Goy 
Most of us were shaped by very particular cultural moments in our childhoods. Out of the many that affected me, MTV Cribs is one that’s truly endured in my unconscious; more specifically, the moment when a pop superstar would open their fridge and display dozens or even hundreds of beautiful, perfectly placed cans or bottles of their favorite beverages. I remember thinking, Damn, it must be really awesome to be rich and always be able to reach for a cold Mr. Pibb (or whatever it was).
As I got older, the economic realities of adulthood set in and I became accustomed not to abundance, but to having only one (or, frankly, even zero) of my favorite bevs in the fridge. After years of disappointment, however, I made an important realization: You don’t have to be rich to have a well-organized, celebrity-worthy refrigerator. You just have to plan ahead a bit.
The luxury of having a bunch of things you love in the fridge at all times cannot be overstated. Now, in my universe-brained adult stage of life, I keep three plastic beverage dispensers on the bottom shelf, because life’s too short not to have a cold one on deck at all times. One has La Croix Pure (aka the best flavor, sorry haters); one has various flavors of Spindrift; and one has N/A beer—usually Athletic Brewing—for when I don’t feel like hitting the sauce (or if I’m having a low-key hang with the boys, I’ll restock it with Miller High Life). I thought setting this up might make my fridge feel like an office or a car dealership, but it’s very much the opposite: I just feel the deep pleasure of having a kitchen that’s stocked with things I love and want to drink every day.
This set of four beverage dispensers on Amazon has almost 10,000 reviews averaging a whopping 4.8 out of five stars. You can’t buy that kind of praise—it has to come organically, likely from a bunch of people who were raised on MTV Cribs and grew up to lead incredible lives. Only have room for one tray? For about the price of a Chipotle burrito with chips and guac, you can take your fridge to the next level by scoring a single bin at 20% off.
And guess what? They also make them for wine! Tired of jamming bottles of your favorite sparkling Lambrusco between loose produce and foil-wrapped leftover pizza? (On that note, maybe also invest in some better food storage containers.) Trying to force tonight’s pét-nat into the freezer at a weird angle atop some frozen fish? Bro, just make a little space in the fridge and gently place a small wine rack in there (there should be some room on the Mr. Pibb shelf), and think ahead for once, filling it with a couple bottles you might like to enjoy this weekend or beyond. Who says you need a bougie wine fridge? (Literally me, but that’s a different conversation.)
If you spend a little cash now, who knows where you’ll end up in the future? You may not make the cut for MTV Cribs, but at least you’ll be known far and wide (among your friends) for always having cold La Croix and High Life to hand out. In my opinion, that’s true fame.
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