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September 23rd, 2022 
Awake Goy 
BOISE, ID — Despite the traditional sentiment that the fall season starts three weeks into the month of September, officials were quick to remind the populace that fall does not officially begin until Carol puts up her “It’s Fall Y’all” sign.
Carol Horsetail, the foremost local authority on fall decor, ceremonially hangs the sign each year to signify the turning of the seasons. “It’s become such a wonderful tradition to ring in the beautiful autumn season by covering my home with fall decor,” Carol said as she strategically placed dried leaves and withered straw around her living room. “Plus, wielding such immense power is so invigorating!”
Though Carol’s sign-hanging has largely become recognized as the starting date of fall, others have raised questions about the legitimacy of her power. “Who is she to determine when a season starts?” asked concerned citizen Linda Crabgrass, Carol’s next-door neighbor who also happens to routinely finish second behind Carol in the neighborhood fall decor contest. “There are actual scientific and celestial markers that tell us when seasons begin and end. And her sign is so outdated. Mine is really more authoritative, I think.”
At publishing time, Linda was lodging a complaint with government authorities and calling in favors from elected officials in her annual attempt to seize Carol’s fall declaration power. As a backup plan, Linda was reportedly planning to unveil an unprecedented Christmas display to place herself in a position of strength to declare the start of the upcoming holiday season.
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