Amazon.com introduces one-hour drone delivery of human baby parts from Planned Parenthood (NewsParody)

September 27th, 2015

Awake Goy

(NaturalNews) If you haven’t yet seen NewsParody.com, it’s a new parody website created in the style of The Onion.

A sickeningly hilarious new post on the site announces Amazon.com’s new plan to partner with Planned Parenthood for one-hour drone delivery of aborted baby parts.

Yeah, it’s sick. And yet it’s not far from the truth of what’s happening in America right now. From the parody article:

Amazon.com has announced that, effective immediately, it will begin selling aborted human baby heads to medical research institutions nationwide, guaranteeing ONE-HOUR delivery via autonomous airborne drones…

The only thing standing in the way of breakthrough cures, Richards said, was a “shortage of abortions” caused by selfish women who are compromising the betterment of society by greedily keeping their babies for themselves.

According to a secret recording of a leading fetal processing expert, dead baby neural tissue is “insanely fragile.” Therefore, each head will be packaged for shipment by very gentle “abortion robots” who look exactly like Jeff Bezos. And to expedite shipment, each carefully packed baby head will be delivered fresh off the abortion assembly line via Amazon’s specially equipped fleet of CIA-supplied drones. If the heads take longer than an hour to arrive, the delivery drone will be free to keep. (Drone Assassination Retrofit Kit available separately.)

Another sickeningly hilarious article on NewsParody.com takes aim at the #ShoutYourAbortion hashtag with a parody piece about a #ShoutYourMurder meme:

The hashtag #ShoutYourMurder was started on Twitter over the weekend after the Supreme Court outlawed murder in the United States. Michael Myers, Walter White and Charles Manson said they began the campaign in order to break the taboo of cold-blooded murder.

“I committed a murder last year and it was a great experience,” White told sources. “Not only am I not ashamed, but I’ve realized how incredibly fortunate I was to have the choice to murder someone, and we need to keep it that way.”

In addition, psychopaths have realized that outlawing murder does not actually prevent murder. Rather, it merely pushes the practice underground, making murder seem shadier than it really is. In reality, murder has been with men for centuries (just ask Cane and Abel). Prohibiting murder won’t suppress this primitive instinct — it will merely exacerbate it.

Furthermore, pushing murder underground allows hit men to charge an absurd amount of money for murder. If murder were legal, penalty charges could be placed on hit men who fail to get the job done.

See the full #ShoutYourMurder story on NewsParody.com.

There, you’ll find other hilarious parodies, including Big Tobacco joins breast cancer industry to launch new pink ribbon cigarettes.

About the author:Mike Adams (aka the “Health Ranger“) is the founding editor of NaturalNews.com, the internet’s No. 1 natural health news website, now reaching 7 million unique readers a month.

In late 2013, Adams launched the Natural News Forensic Food Lab, where he conducts atomic spectroscopy research into food contaminants using high-end ICP-MS instrumentation. With this research, Adams has made numerous food safety breakthroughs such as revealing rice protein products imported from Asia to be contaminated with toxic heavy metals like lead, cadmium and tungsten. Adams was the first food science researcher to document high levels of tungsten in superfoods. He also discovered over 11 ppm lead in imported mangosteen powder, and led an industry-wide voluntary agreement to limit heavy metals in rice protein products to low levels by July 1, 2015.

In addition to his lab work, Adams is also the (non-paid) executive director of the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center (CWC), an organization that redirects 100% of its donations receipts to grant programs that teach children and women how to grow their own food or vastly improve their nutrition. Click here to see some of the CWC success stories.

With a background in science and software technology, Adams is the original founder of the email newsletter technology company known as Arial Software. Using his technical experience combined with his love for natural health, Adams developed and deployed the content management system currently driving NaturalNews.com. He also engineered the high-level statistical algorithms that power SCIENCE.naturalnews.com, a massive research resource now featuring over 10 million scientific studies.

Adams is well known for his incredibly popular consumer activism video blowing the lid on fake blueberries used throughout the food supply. He has also exposed “strange fibers” found in Chicken McNuggets, fake academic credentials of so-called health “gurus,” dangerous “detox” products imported as battery acid and sold for oral consumption, fake acai berry scams, the California raw milk raids, the vaccine research fraud revealed by industry whistleblowers and many other topics.

Adams has also helped defend the rights of home gardeners and protect the medical freedom rights of parents. Adams is widely recognized to have made a remarkable global impact on issues like GMOs, vaccines, nutrition therapies, human consciousness.

In addition to his activism, Adams is an accomplished musician who has released ten popular songs covering a variety of activism topics.

Click here to read a more detailed bio on Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, at HealthRanger.com.