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May 12th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
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The world is full of sinister voices, always trying to lure your children toward extremist, far-right ideas. How can you protect your kids from growing up to be literally Hitler– or worse– Ben Shapiro? We did several minutes of research and found the 7 books you must avoid at all costs:
1. The Bible: This deeply problematic book teaches that all human beings are of one race, with only two genders, made in the image of God. Yeesh. Not a good look, God.
2. Any math book: Math is a gateway drug into the white supremacist idea of “either/or” thinking. It starts with 2+2=4, and ends with your kid microaggressing her non-binary classmate. Stay away!
3. The works of Shakespeare: We don’t know much about Shakespeare because he uses big words so we never read him. We know this much though: he was a white cis-male. We recommend a comic book by Ta-Nehisi Coates instead.
4. If You Give A Mouse A Cookie: This deeply anti-communist work criticizes the welfare state and reeks of white supremacy. It also smacks of bigotry. It’s rare for a book to both reek and smack like that.
5. The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe: Indoctrinates kids into Christianity, and shames women from being Witches/feminists.
6. Are You My Mother?: REEEEEEE!
7. The Tuttle Twins: Kids who read these books have been known to grow into virtuous, productive citizens. How is the government going to grow bigger if everyone is a virtuous, productive citizen? Sounds pretty counterproductive to us.
NOT SATIRE: The Tuttle Twins children’s book series is teaching the rising generation about the ideas of freedom, free markets, individual responsibility, and American history. Many of these ideas are no longer taught in the classroom, which is why we are on a mission to distribute 1,000,000 copies of the Tuttle Twins to families, homeschoolers, schools, and libraries.
It costs roughly $10 to print and distribute one copy of the Tuttle Twins. You can click here to help us distribute more copies of the Tuttle Twins with a tax-deductible gift of $10, $50, $100, or even more.
Thank you,
Connor Boyack
Author, Tuttle Twins
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